Wow! 2 months already since William was born. Man I can't believe it. And Thursday it'll be 9 months since Jason's accident. It all seems like yesterday some days and others it seems like forever ago. With every passing day it seems like I'm losing a part of them - kinda like I'm forgetting them. I bought myself an Ipod for Mother's day last week and have been listening to songs at work. On Friday I was getting something off the copier and our wedding song started playing - Amazed by Lonestar. I really thought I was going to breakdown at work. I was able to keep it together somehow, but I just sat at my desk and closed my eyes and tried to remember back to our special day. I remember very vividly him wondering when our song was going to be over - he never was big on dancing. And I'm sure he didn't care too much for me singing to him. :) Oh well. And then the song we played during the slideshow at his service played - Photographs & Memories by Jason Reeves (pretty awesome song). I used to listen to that song almost every day. And again I sat at my desk with my eyes closed trying to remember what his voice sounded like. Wow I didn't realize how much I've been keeping my emotions to myself as I'm crying writing this. I guess I really need to keep up with this a little bit more - it may help me. People are always saying how strong I am, but I feel like the biggest baby right now. Kinda like that "I want my mommy" feeling with the biggest "booboo" that she can't just kiss and make it all feel better. WOW - this is really hard for me. So I guess that means it's time for me to go. I'm going to go see if my boys are in the sky tonight and tell them how much I love them and miss them. I will update more tomorrow about my wonderful Mother's Day gift from my co-workers and the March of Dimes of walk that was on Saturday. Love to all!
I created this blog for my unborn son, William Jason, who was diagnosed with Anencephaly on December 19th, 2008. He was stillborn on March 11th, 2009 at 32-1/2 weeks. Almost exactly 7 months after his Daddy passed away. They are both in Heaven watching over us now. We love & miss them both so very much. Thank you to everyone's thoughts and prayers.
Anencephaly is a neural tube defect (a disorder involving incomplete development of the brain, spinal cord, and/or their protective coverings). The neural tube is a narrow sheath that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the "cephalic" or head end of the neural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without both a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating area of the brain). The remaining brain tissue is often exposed--not covered by bone or skin. The infant is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a rudimentary brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness. Reflex actions such as respiration (breathing) and responses to sound or touch may occur. The cause of anencephaly is unknown. There is no cure or standard treatment for anencephaly. The prognosis for individuals with anencephaly is extremely poor. If the infant is not stillborn, then he or she will usually die within a few hours or days after birth.