My baby boy turned 1 last Thursday. I can't believe it's been a year since we met him and had to say goodbye.
I usually take off on Kayla's bday if it falls on a work day...so I knew I'd take off for William's too. Plus I wasn't sure how I'd be that day emotionally. I was surprisingly better than I expected. A guy I work with actually got it right, the days leading up to it were more stressful than the actual day (he also lost his son a while back). I kept Kayla from daycare so we could spend the day together. When I told her it was William's bday she got so excited and asked "Is he coming down?". Oh poor Kayla how I wish he'd could come down too. :( We didn't really do much that day - went grocery shopping, had lunch with a friend and then to Hobby Lobby to get some more stuff for her bday party this weekend. After that we came home and took a nap, which was awesome. :) Got up and went over to Sam's house. I made us dinner and then we released a birthday balloon.
I bought some cupcakes with soccer balls on them - always thought Mr. William was gonna be a soccer player with all that kicking he did. Man his little legs were strong!!! :) I LOVED every kick. I let Kayla blow out the candle. She was so excited.
We then all sat around the computer and went through all the pictures we have from when he was born. And played all the videos we have. Kayla was so cute watching the video of her singing to William. She just giggled which made us laugh. She's such a goofy girl.
Sam bought me a nice picture frame (tried to find a pic online, but couldn't find one). It says:
A loving message from your child in Heaven
Your love made a home,
and you welcome me.
Our hearts touched,
and yours became
forever one with mine.
But there was a reason
why I couldn't stay,
in your loving arms.
I'm with the angels now,
held safely in their care...
God's love made a home,
and He welcomed me there.
Overall the day was good - much better than expected. I thought of him often, but didn't really break down like I thought I would. I did cry when Sam's family sent me some nice texts saying they were thinking of me and William. It was really nice. It was nice to smile when we were looking at the pics instead of sad because he wasn't here anymore. I know he's safe up there in Heaven with his Daddy. I wish they were both here, but I know that they are together up there watching over us every day. I know we will all be together again one day.
Return to Zero
6 years ago