Saturday, January 17, 2009

Where our story begins...

My husband, Jason, and I met in 1999 right before I started college. We hung out for a few days while I was visiting my best friend, Samantha, and her fiance (at the time) Jason (yeah, yeah - it's confusing). I didn't really feel any chemistry then and I think my Jason was a little scared of me. HAHA! It wasn't until December 2000, when our best friends got married, that "something" clicked between us. Jason & I spent a lot of time together the week before the wedding and that is when he says he fell in love with me. It wasn't until a little while later that I find out that Samantha & Jason had a plan to get us together the whole time. Well what do you know, IT WORKED. We started dating January 1st, 2001. We moved in together February 2001. Everything went so quickly, but it just felt right so I wasn't scared. We got engaged in May 2001, but we didn't get married until July 10th, 2004. Just a little over a year later, July 18th, 2005 we found out that we were pregnant. We were so excited!!! I couldn't believe that I was going to have a little baby - I never thought I'd be a mother, but always wanted to be. My pregnancy was rather awesome, no major problems. And on March 20th, 2006 (only 5 days late) our beautiful baby girl, Kayla Joy, was born. She was amazing.

Fast forward to 2008...
I always wanted my kids no more than 3 years apart and kept telling Jason that. But he would just say we needed to wait. So after going back and forth however many times - I finally realized that we weren't ready and we need to wait and I was fine with that. In June 2008 we took a family vacation back to Virginia with Samantha, Jason and their two kids, Charles & Raelene. 24 hour van ride to Virginia with all of us was a lot better than most of us thought, I'm sure! :) We had an awesome time and it was well worth the over 48 hours we spent in the van. And hey we are still friends - that was a true test of friendship. HAHA! While we were there, Jason & I were going to sleep and he started talking about having another baby. What? Where did that come from? I was now the one saying we needed to wait and he wanted to have another one. We had convinced the other that what we were saying was the right thing. :) Too funny!! So we got back from Virginia and started discussing when would be a good time to start trying again. I wanted to have the baby by the time my sister graduated HS in June 2009, so I wouldn't be miserable driving/flying to see her. Jason had a good point too, because in August 2009 he would turn 30 & a few days later his mother would turn 50. So he wanted me to not have to worry about taking care of the baby while I was trying to plan & have the parties for them.

But then...
Tragedy struck our family! August 14th, 2008 Jason was driving home from work on his motorcycle & was in an accident - he passed away. I could not believe this was happening to us. I didn't know what to do. And our poor daughter, what was I going to tell her? Her Daddy was her world - they loved each other so much. She now knows that her Daddy is in Heaven with the other Angels and he is a star in the sky at night. It's pretty amazing how she has been since she was only 2-1/2 when it happened. I really don't know what I'd do without her, she really keeps me going.

23 days after the accident...
I found out that I was pregnant. I had a strange feeling the night of the accident and the next day that I was pregnant. I just knew it. Well I went to visit my brother & sister-in-law in Cleburne for the weekend and I just couldn't wait to take a test when I got back home. So I took one and sure enough it was clear as day that I was pregnant. So I took another one, and it came up blank (one of those digital ones). After we went to lunch we stopped by to get some more and I took another one and yup, definitely pregnant. "Are you freakin' kidding me?" I think were my exact words. Don't get me wrong I was very happy to be pregnant, but to not have my husband here with me was fucked up. Sorry, but that's what I felt and still feel!!! Yet again I could not understand who was thinking I could handle all of this. I mean seriously how much more could I go through? doesn't get any better!

1 comment:

  1. All those years ago, We had it all planned out behind closed doors. Get them two togehter. It will be great. The 4 of us together forever.
    We married, Jason said during the toast that he was there though all our fights :)They married. I said that we were there through all their fights as well :) It worked, Can't believe it worked. Babies came, still can't beleive it. Its wonderful.
    Our family trip was great, so many plans were made in that van.
    I was working that day, very busy, Missed call form Sara than missed call from Jason. I called Jason he asked if I spoke to Sara because Jason was in a accident. I spoke to Sara... How can I get there to her... God don't take him please.
    Then another call, My heart was ripped out. How am I supposed to do this? I can't do this. My friend told me that I will do this for Sara.
    What do you know- I DID. I'M a fucking rock.
    Pregnant- WOW- Helping her through this. What do we do? We were figuring it out one step at a time... We are there through what ever the path is