Monday, July 6, 2009

Upcoming anniversaries...

So I can already feel myself starting to break down. This week is NOT going to be a good week. Friday will be Jason & my 5 year wedding anniversary. Saturday will be 4 months since William was born. And then next Tuesday will be 11 months since Jason's accident - I really can't believe it's almost been a YEAR. I am feeling so alone right now. I miss my boys so much, I think about them all the time. We should all be together right now. Jason and I should be going on a hot air balloon ride on Friday like we planned 2 years ago. William should be learning to rollover like Kayla did at 4 months. Jason and I should be starting to make homemade baby food for our little handsome boy. Kayla should just be Kayla the sweetest little girl that would be so cute with her little brother. Y'all should see her with any other little baby boy that she sees. It's too cute and it just kills me EVERY time - I really don't know how I keep it together. Man, what am I going to do...


  1. Sara, your words are breaking my heart. I wish I could be there physically for you to help you along on these next few days and weeks...I know it is hard. So I will send you cyber hugs and send up lots of prayers for comfort and strength in the coming day.

  2. I'm so sorry it has been hard for you. You have so many anniversary days ahead of you and so close together. (((hugs))) I wish I could make it better, but I know the only that that could can't happen.

  3. Oh Sara, my heart breaks for you! I can't imagine how tough it must be, going through what you are. I'm sure you do feel a lone and life probably seems pointless some days. Know this, you are not alone! God is with you every moment and I know it hurts him to see you hurt. Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen. I wish I could take your pain, I can't but Jesus can.
    I know I don't know you, but I do love you and I think about you and pray for you often. Our whole Church has been praying for you and I'll make sure they keep doing so.

  4. My sweet Wife....

    You know that I wish I could change everything. I wish I could be yelling at your Jason right now for some reason. ;) Pulling his ear because he did something "mean" to that precious lil boy.
    I hope that us being here for you helps you as much as it could. Knowing that you are physically and emotionally not alone in other ways. I know what your talking about. I hope I am keeping my promise to your husband,
    You will get through this just like you did in the last 10 months,. remember what Bride wars said... its the truth
    Today I saw that baby that was born 1 day before William...and as I measured his head and length. Saw that smile he gave me, all I thought was William should be doing that to me. I should be getting ready to piss him off and give him 3 shots. :) Hearing that screaming baby boy... parents had no clue that it was a such wonderful sound....
    I love you

  5. Oh sweet friend, thank you for stopping my blog. I know we share the same, but your additional loss, the loss of your partner, is so much more than I can comprehend. You are such a light in this world. I hope that you know that.

  6. Sara,
    I dont know you an cannot even TRY to imagine the pain you've gone through losing 2 special people that we're so close to you in the same year. I am almost 8 months pregnant with a little boy myself, and just reading your story has opened my eyes so wide! So many women take for granted that little ball of life inside them, and just assume everything will be fine. But for women like you, we need to really appreciate it alot more. Im so sorry for your loss of husband and son and I want you to kno that I think you're a beautiful and courageous woman and mother.