Wow!! Seriously the days have been flying. Today is the first day I have not been on the move since leaving the hospital. Whether it was getting the last things ready for William's memorial service or getting stuff ready for Kayla's 3rd bday party. Man! My mom just left yesterday, so it was just me & Kayla for the first time last night. I thought it would be hard, but we (really I) did ok. I really hate to say this but it really seems like a dream, kinda like I was never even pregnant. Everything happened so damn fast that it was like I wasn't even there. I know I have tons of pictures & movies, but I'm missing the one piece that I wish I had so badly to make it all seem real. I still can't believe all of this has happened to us. I know I will never understand so I guess I shouldn't dwell on that because it'll just make me crazy. I need to be strong for my little girl and myself. And I really don't know how I'm doing it, I just am. I can't imagine where I'd be right now if I didn't have lil Miss Kayla. At least I know my handsome William is with his loving Daddy, probably playing Xbox 360(since I never let him buy one), the Wii or showing him how to be the greatest artist EVER & having the best time together. Kayla & I will just take it one day at a time and remember them EVERYDAY for the rest of our lives. Thanks for everyone's thoughts, prayers & support.
I created this blog for my unborn son, William Jason, who was diagnosed with Anencephaly on December 19th, 2008. He was stillborn on March 11th, 2009 at 32-1/2 weeks. Almost exactly 7 months after his Daddy passed away. They are both in Heaven watching over us now. We love & miss them both so very much. Thank you to everyone's thoughts and prayers.
Anencephaly is a neural tube defect (a disorder involving incomplete development of the brain, spinal cord, and/or their protective coverings). The neural tube is a narrow sheath that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the "cephalic" or head end of the neural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without both a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating area of the brain). The remaining brain tissue is often exposed--not covered by bone or skin. The infant is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a rudimentary brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness. Reflex actions such as respiration (breathing) and responses to sound or touch may occur. The cause of anencephaly is unknown. There is no cure or standard treatment for anencephaly. The prognosis for individuals with anencephaly is extremely poor. If the infant is not stillborn, then he or she will usually die within a few hours or days after birth.